Emotional Detachment – Second Step

If recognition has already been achieved—and I insist it is a process refined through practice and brute honesty—the next step that follows is Acceptance.

Acceptance related to your identity. We tend to identify with the exterior very quickly. After all, we are perceptive creatures, and we have very few other options as to how we can make sense of this world around us. But that is the paradox of our reality, is it not? We use our senses to understand reality, but we distort it by the same means.

So how are we to understand feelings and emotions? Although we have worked out in previous posts the nature and definition of each, the meaning we give to it is a completely different thing altogether. Feelings and emotions are the representation to the outside world of our state of mind (psychological) and our state of body (physiological) but they are neither of them.

It would be like saying that a song IS the voice of the singer. The song is merely one representation or manifestation of the voice of the singer. Yet, when we hear a song we like, we may feel incline to say: “X has a very good voice”. It is a generalization of the state based on a single manifestation. Although a fallacy, it is the way we commonly represent ourselves and everything in relation to it.

My proposal, especially in the frame on emotional detachment, is to give feelings and emotions the meaning and value they truly have: none. Now, fear not. What I mean is they don’t have an intrinsic value. You provide that by yourself. You can choose for example to let them get the best of you and control your actions and behavior, or you can use them to guide you towards the root of the actual issue that caused the feeling with whatever value it has for you.

So, acceptance is about meaning. It is about giving to each its own. But it is also a process of reconciliation, but in this case with ourselves. Very few times do we practice the magic of self-gentleness, and acceptance is the door to it.

In other words, you are not angry, you feel angry or are in a state of anger; you are not stressed, but rather you feel or are in a state of stress, anxiety, depression, etc. You are not the manifestation of your internal state. As a matter of fact, you are not even the state itself. But that would be for another time.

Leave a Reply