Diving into our identity

That we live in a current sociocultural climate where identity as a race—the human race that is—is under re-shaping as the new constructs of society make their way, not only into our language and communication expectation, but also in the views we develop of ourselves, should not be strange to the reader.

But, with so much confusion, trends, voices, and an endless scroll of identity challenge through social media, how can we understand who we truly are?

Here is where the principle of emotional detachment comes in handy. What is emotional detachment? For me became the key tool to dissociate with my false identity, that phantom I had created that gave meaning to my illusion. Yes, we are talking about the Ego.

So how can emotional detachment help us dissociate from the Ego and its false identity? If you remember from our previous post on the Ego, it survives and thrives upon conflict. The key is to understand how conflict is manifested in our identity. To illustrate this point, allow me to use the NLP Communication Model:

As you can see by the great graphical representation David Key provides in his NLP Practitioner course, everything we interpret from the world is in one way or another transformed. A very common form of transformation is distortion. We distort information in two ways: 1. Through the natural brain efficiency (the machine) to keep what we consider validates our current paradigm (the neural connections that help us make sense of the world), and 2. Through the emotional charge we provide to the information received through stimuli. The first is something we cannot intervene with; it is how we are wired as humans. The second is where we have a conscious saying.

Our “map of the world” is greatly influenced by our “State”, meaning, our feelings and emotions. This is where conflict happens, and through it, it is manifested via our feedback into the outside world.

Conflict is always of an emotional nature. We “give” meaning and value to every bit of information we receive. Everything that we consider threatening will cause conflict. We will try to fight it off, defend ourselves from it, or simply give into the suffering of the conflict, becoming victims.

Emotional detachment is the slow, but sure, process of identifying, accepting, and correcting the ideas and values that cause us to fall into that cycle of conflict. It is the process of peeling one layer of illusion at a time. I know it sounds painful (and it can certainly be), but it has become the most rewarding process for my happiness.

Visit the blog next week and I will show you the first step of the process.

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